I am so afraid of the world.

Of my own breath

Of my own existence...

Its terrifying that my existence, my skin, my body, my brain

Offends so many others

To the point of hatred and murder

To the point in which parents beg their children to be almost apologetic of their skin, when

encountering a cop

Because me, a 15 year old, should be more composed than a trained police officer

I am so afraid of my body because of how the man across the street from the deli looks at it and

yells

“Not today sweetheart, not today”

Or

“Hey baby, why don't you want to talk to me”

Or

“Aww sweetie, won't you give me a smile”

Im afraid because I’m not sure when I went from sweet innocent child to

Woman

To voluptuous woman

To object

For them to have

And spit at

And call names

I am afraid of the dark

Because in the dark I am all alone with my thoughts

And fantasy

And reality

And while the world may be pretty scary

Perhaps this mind is the beast I should have been fearing all along.